dressing for the occasion.

It's not often these days that something on the tellybox makes me recoil in abject fear or confusion. But today, it happened.

Over the years I've watched some crap television, don't get me wrong. My viewing record reads like a 'top 100 things not to bother watching before you die' list. [Which ironically, I'm pretty sure was a rerun on late night channel 4 a couple of weeks ago]. I watched Jade Goody's wedding to the Right Honourable Jack Tweed - pretty sure he's been knighted by now, actually? The Man Who Ate His Lover looked like quite a friendly chap, and the ever brilliant minds at channel five airing 'World's Fattest Man Gets Married' or something equally vulgar, had my vote from the get go.

    

[Jade Goody's Wedding; The Man Who Ate His Lover (happy bugger); The World's Fattest Man - can't even make it out of bed for his wedding day, lazy sod.]  

But the thing that REALLY pissed me off was the ITV lunchtime weather report. Or rather ITV lunchtime weather report's hip & trendy yummy-mummy make-me-a-supermodel ITV weather lady.

Let's be honest, ITV has always strived to be the coolest of the terrestrial channels, at least when it comes down to their age-old battle with BBC 1. I've often thought of the BBC as the more conservative of the two; more middle of the road, bookish & knowledgeable, likes the odd bit of sci-fi, trousers inevitably slightly too short - that sort of thing. ITV however, despite it's best efforts, tends only to respond by overcompensating. The powers that be at ITV seem to be forever trying to get one up on the BBC. 'LET'S MAKE EVERYTHING MORE LOUD & MORE SHINY & MORE NOWWW!! KRAYZEEE!!' Essentially ITV is aspiring to be the tellybox equivalent of a Romford Market gold watch or a pimped-up maxed-out smack-ma-bitch-up VW Golf on Loughton Highstreet of a weekend.

       

         [BBC]                                       [ITV]

I can only assume it is for these reasons that ITV deemed it appropriate that their aforementioned ITV weather lady do her thing in a black t-shirt complete with gold sparkle inducing bow & coordinating black waistcoat. I don't want to watch fucking CABARET I want to know if it's safe to leave the washing out. I do realise it shouldn't matter. As far as I'm aware her dress down Friday approach has not made her any less of an ITV weather lady. At least I sincerely hope that this change of attire does not mark her secret rebellion against the weather-forecast viewing population of Great Britain, and that she is now not in fact telling horrible lies when she says it will rain until the end of the week JUST TO GET HER KICKS.

[Chrissie Reidy aka ITV Weather Lady, back in the day. Oh, Chrissie.]

It is a concern, though. A tiny, niggling, unreasonable idea that for some reason, ITV weather lady donning a sharp suit & heels should know a great deal more about the oncoming weather fronts than just some woman that looks a bit like ITV weather lady in your average Topshop wares.  There are many parallel examples. In the extreme, if Jonathan Ross switches uniforms with a Playboy model, what've you got? ANARCHY. Viewers switching off from all sides & 4 undoubtedly gleeful puffs with a piano that'll never be quite the same again.

[4 Poofs & A Piano. Minus Piano.]

Either way, the sooner nameless ITV weather lady return to her suit wearing heyday, the better. It hasn't rained all day, for the record. >.>