Thursday 19 February 2009

homecoming.

Tomorrow, or rather later on today, is back to Loughton. My 'real home' in Essex. 

[At uni if you ask someone where they live they'll tell you which halls they're in, or the road name, and in extreme cases entire address, of their cramped four bed semi-detached house in Peckham. Except you're already perfectly aware of the fact that they live in London and weren't exactly after the precise post code. So you say "oh no I meant where are you 'really from' ". Like when they told you they were from Peckham they were trying to deceive you with a horrible lie.] 

My 'real home' so called, is a little known quiet place called Essex, where tangerine dreams are made.


It's not like EVERYONE fits the stereotype. But when you've seen what seems like a million winters worth of Juicy velour tracksuits and Ugg boots and a million summers worth of denim hotpants and...well, Ugg boots ambling down the high street, you can see what the rest of the country thinks & means by 'Essex'.

Sitting OUTSIDE of cafes is also a typical past time of the young - middle aged Essex men & woman:

Come rain or shine they'll be there. Middle of winter, pashminas in tow, there they are. Sipping on a half-caf double skinny moccachoccathing, having a draw of a Marlboro Light. It is my personal opinion that only the French can truly pull this sort of activity off. Facial Expression is key. The French say, in their chic Frenchy coats and their berets: 'Yes I'm sitting on the street and drinking my coffee, no you may not join me, I am perfectly content and wonderful being cold and thinking you look shit.' The Essex street cafe frequenter, however, is more likely to say something along the lines of: 'Errr look at 'er bayyyg' or 'Init cold Darren?'.

Like I said, not everyone in Essex is like this. For starters there would be marginally less parking space if ALL the inhabitants of Loughton chose to drive the latest, largest, silver-est 4x4 they could possibly find. And the level of global warming would increase by a tiny percentage. And that would be a shame. But there are enough people like this, REALLY as in FO' REALZ like this, that give Essex its certain reputation. Not as many white stilettos these days, sadly, but the general idea remains the same.


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Whichever question it is I'm answering, I'm from London.

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